mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
