Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
