There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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