On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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