There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize