Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
