I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
