I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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