the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
