Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
