I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
