pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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