Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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