You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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