I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
