dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
