maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
