You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
