I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize