i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
