yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
