I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
