I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
