I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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