I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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