It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
