1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize