Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
