He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
