I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
