drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize