Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
