i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
