singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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