do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
