you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
