i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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