Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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