kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
