That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
