Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
