But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
