Small penises have feelings too.
We named our party play list daddy issues
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
