You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
