and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize