Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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