My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
