Your tits are I can't wait for
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
