I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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