It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
