Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
