You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i now understand why vodka
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
