can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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