Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
