Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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