I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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