I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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