I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
