bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize