Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
