I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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