I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
ugly people sure do ruin things
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
