No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
