it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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