Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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