I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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