dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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