He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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