She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
