So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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