My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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