...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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