i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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