yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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