So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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